Hi guys, Merry Christmas!

I am going to be honest here, I am struggling with what to write this morning.  I had this whole plan of writing a normal happy holiday post because as of two days ago that's how I felt.  And then the night before Christmas Eve was a hard one.  I found out some news about a family member that hit me like a train wreck.  

You know when something happens that you think could never possibly happen in your life?  It only happens to other people and in movies, never to you.  Well one of those things is happening currently in my family...

...is this real life?

Yeah, this is real life, my life.

I am processing emotions and trying my best to be in the Christmas spirit, because one I am so blessed for this life that I am living, and two I am beyond thankful for all that God has done for me, including Jesus being born today.  And while this has always been one of the happiest times of year for me, there is another feeling this year that is a part of the equation too.

I can't share too many details with you about what is going on, but I will ask that you say prayers for my family that we will all make it through this rough time because there is a long road ahead and the next couple of days are crucial.

Christmas isn't ruined, because I won't let someone else's actions take the joy of Christmas away from me, but it will be different.  And I guess that's okay too.  

I have so much so celebrate this Christmas despite the train that just came crashing into my heart.  

See that man up there in that picture?  I don't know what I would do without him.  He's my world.  Two nights ago I filled his shirt with tears and mascara stains as he hugged me and let me be sad.  He had a right to be furious with what was going on in our lives, but instead he put his emotions aside and comforted me.  I am convinced that God sent us to each other because he knew that we would need each other everyday for the rest of our lives.  

We will spend today lounging in our PJ's, eating some yummy food, and visiting a couple of friends.  And while there are things going on that are out of my control, I will celebrate the life of Jesus, my partner that I have to lean on, and this beautiful Christmas Day.

If nothing else, this hiccup has made me even more thankful for the blessings that I have been given.  And on this morning, I am filled with the hope of God and the comfort that He is in control and not me.  That gives me a little peace.

I wish you nothing more than a very Merry Christmas and with those you love.  And if you also have some "stuff" going on that makes it not feel quite as Christmassy this year, try and focus on the blessings in your life and know that "this too shall pass."

Lots of love to all of you who have been a part of my life this past year!  I am looking forward to 2015 and all that is to come.  Xo